Letter to my Younger Self

At the time, certain events or experiences may seem like an impossible thing, but looking back, you realise that those struggles and set backs make you who you are now, you feel stronger and start to understand what you want in life.

From friends to bad makeup, an illness to university and working in America, the past few years have definitely been eventful, yet amazing at the same time.

So hello younger Rachel,

Lets go back to high school, when you were surrounded by amazing people, you have many friends at this point. You do start to drift away from some people over the years, that is natural, do not worry, forget about the people who do not like you, do not waste your time on them! You have a small group of friends who  stay with you throughout and after school ends, these are the people who matter. When you catch up with them when you are all back from university, you realise that they are the best people you could ever know and you will be so grateful. From smiling until your mouth hurts, to laughing until your eyes are filled with tears, they make everyday worth it!

As you start to grow up, you start to fall in love with make up, you will always be on the hunt for new products, and just simply fall in love with it all. I do have to say this though, the make up you are currently wearing as a young teenager, please just stop, change it! That foundation does not suit you, and that green eyeshadow? I mean, come on Rachel, maybe look in a mirror every now and again… (Oh the joys of the embarrassing teenage years). Oh, and also, do not go for the cheap makeup, you are allergic to it!

You make your way through school and pass all of your GCSEs, you decide to stay on for Sixth Form for your A Levels. This is where things will get a little difficult, but you are strong, you will get through it! You fail the first year of Sixth Form (apart from 1 subject), so this set back results in you having to stay on an extra year, do not worry though, you are not alone with this. At the end of your first year in Sixth Form, you will think about dropping out, because school just may not be for you. You then get a diagnosis a few days later though, you will find out you have a tumour on your pituitary gland, yes, a tumour in your head, at the base of your brain sounds like the end of the world, but you are strong. You use this diagnosis to keep going, you realise you can actually complete your A Levels, you just had something holding you back.

Your medication will give you awful side effects, you will not eat, you lose 2 stone, cannot sleep, but you keep going to school, your concentration may not be there, you will cry and just feel like you wont pass any exams, but you get through it. You actually end up winning the Miss Incredible Award at your Year 13 ROA. Things will get worse before it gets better, but you will end up having surgery in 2014, the surgery is a success, so get ready to celebrate, you are tumour free, symptom free and you finally finish school! This will be the time when you get closer to your brother, you will end up being part of his year group in your final year, he will help you more than you realise, so maybe be kinder to him and thank him every now and again.

You do make it to university, and as I write this in my third year, I can safely say you will have a great time! You live in halls for year one and two, and meet great people both years. The second year ends up being amazing for you, you become close to some amazing people and have a wonderful time!! Your passion for writing also develops throughout university, and this results in the blog you will end up creating, and LOVING! It will be a great decision, trust me!

You apply to work in America! I know, it sounds crazy right. You get placed at the most amazing girl camp, and you will honestly have the best time!! You go on trips, teach a range of activities and be the camp photographer. You meet the most amazing children, and as for new friends, you will develop such a great relationship and create friends from around the world. You will spend 11 weeks at camp and then 2 weeks travelling, from Boston to Niagara Falls, to Washington DC, to five days in New York City. You will honestly have the best summer ever (Thank you AmeriCamp)!

You also find your passion for acting and photography, you fall in love with capturing amazing shots and create a wonderful hobby! 

You finally start to realise what you want in life, your love for creativity comes back into your everyday world. You start to look forward to the future, and you will love life!

Things may seem tough now, and yes, unfortunately, things will become more difficult, but you will get through it, you will make it out the other side. Keep going, keep working hard, keep being strong.

Enjoy the next few years, enjoy school, it goes by so quickly, and sometimes you do wish you could go back!

Well that is me done, I guess I will see you in a few years,

Rachel (aged 21) x

19 thoughts on “Letter to my Younger Self

  1. What a beautiful, courageous post. Thank you so much for writing it and sharing it with us – your experience is an inspiration, a testament to strength and perseverance.

  2. This is lovely! You’re amazing honey! I hope you’re proud of who you’ve become!
    I completely relate to the friendship part, true friends will stick around even when you go off to uni! X

  3. This is such an adorable post! Amazing that you’ve found your passions gal, and you’ve gone through so much in your time! Go you! x

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